Love & Kindness by Stephanie Elliott

I was asked the other day what kind of hopes and dreams do I have for my kids? I had to think for a minute. What dreams do I have for my children?

I don’t care if they grow up to be millionaires. That’s not important to me. I don’t care if they grow up to be the most successful or even the smartest in their classes. I don’t care if they grow up to be the prettiest or the best or the sportiest or the tallest or the richest.

I want them to grow up to be the kindest ones out of the bunch. I want other parents to come up to me and say, “Hey, AJ was really nice to that kid.” And I heard a glimmer of that the other day. He volunteers at the Boys & Girls Club and I overheard one of the staff members telling him that the little kids loved him there. That makes a mom’s heart swell with pride. To me, that means that AJ is being nice to the little kids, that he’s taking time to give them attention; that he’s playing with them, that he’s spending moments learning their names. That’s what I want from my kids. That they be kind and nice.

My other hope is that they know they are loved completely by us. They can grow up and not be millionaires. They don’t have to get straight As or be the most influential people in the world. But they need to know they are loved and they need to know how to love. That they are able to tell us how much they love us, and mean it, at their ages, is immeasurable to me. That my 13-year-old can openly tell his grandfather, “I love you, G’pa,” just for the heck of it … well, that again makes me a proud mom. We are an open family that gives a lot of love. We do group hugs, we share, we talk, we say, “I love you,” countless times, we kiss. My husband kisses my boys just as much as he kisses my daughter and me. There is never enough room for affection in our house.

Love and kindness. That is worth more than all the money and success this world can offer in our home. How much is it worth to you?

Stephanie Elliott is a writer, blogger and editor for Real Moms Guide, Sheknows.com. Visit realmomsguide.sheknows.com  for more information.

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by copefamilycenter on February 24, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by copefamilycenter on February 24, 2012

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Time Outs & Redirects

by Julie Foss, Cope volunteer and blogger

Time Outs & Redirects

A few tools for positive parenting are the use of time-outs and re-directs.  A time-out’s recommended length is that the amount of minutes should equal their age. A five-year-old should have no longer than a five minute time-out.   Re-directs are to divert your child’s focus and attention to something healthier than the current behavior.

But how often do we do that for ourselves as parents?

Time-outs can be a positive parenting tool if we also use it for ourselves.  It can help us redirect our focus from our day-to-day life stresses and obligations to what is important to us; our family, our health, and our homes.

I recently started incorporating time-outs into my daily routine again.  A month ago, I was excited and honored to be asked to help with the Cope blog.  I had a ton of ideas of what I could write about and share. Tons of things I wanted to look at to remind myself about what is important to me.    Then, life circumstances diverted my attention.  I had a million and one personal obligations to attend to. I heard myself saying things like, “Not enough time” “Not enough money” “Not enough ….with a million blanks.

I wanted to write all these things about Healthy Families but questioned “Who am I to define that?” Each and every parent has their own ideas of parenting, their own upbringing, their own set of circumstances, and their own individual ideas of health.

So, I took a time out to do something creative and fun to re-direct my time and energy.

I use to write acrostic poems, because I didn’t have enough confidence in my writing and it seemed to provide something personal and defining to the outcome.  These are poems that utilize the first letters of a name for each sentence.   So, I thought, why not try it for Healthy Family.

H appiness fills the room

E xcitement of togetherness

A kin with each other

L ove & Laughter & Life

T raditions set

H ope filled hearts

Y earning for something better

F amiliar faces

A round a table

M ine & Yours & Ours

I llustrate togetherness

L eary of the outside world influences

Y earning for it to be enough

Now, take a moment, a time-out to redirect yourself and define what is a healthy family for you?  Let me know.  I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.

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by copefamilycenter on February 22, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by copefamilycenter on February 22, 2012

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What’s growing in our garden?

by Aimee Inglis, Community Engagement Program Manager
Our water-wise garden adventure continues! In October we planted our first Winter garden and now we’re beginning to reap our rewards! All of this is possible, of course, because of the efforts of volunteers like you. Since October, groups from Kaiser in Vallejo, Napa Christian, and Valley Vine 4-H club have helped out at Open Garden Days, as well as many kind individuals. Open Garden Days are supervised by Water Wise Women and UC Master Gardeners of Napa County, Mary Hudson and Cheryl Toivola, who volunteered to provide consultation on the garden design. We are so pleased with their continued involvement!

Planted in our veggie beds are two kinds of beets, broccolli, red and romaine lettuce, swiss and rainbow chard, garlic, green onions, carrots, parsnips, and globe onions. Fresh harvested produce is set out for the community to take as well as distributed to families in need. Most of our chard is bolting! So we will be harvesting most of this soon. We expect carrots, parsnips, and onions to be ready later.

We’re also proud that our garden will be featured for the Bay Friendly Garden tour on May 6th. Come on by and enjoy the festivities! But of course, as your local family resource center, families are welcome to come by and enjoy the garden any time!

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by copefamilycenter on February 17, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by copefamilycenter on February 17, 2012

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Introducing new Community Outreach & Advocacy Committee

by Jennifer Sunseri, Online Organizing Intern, Cope Community Outreach & Advocacy Committee

As a new volunteer for Cope, I’m very excited to be a part of a new committee called Community Outreach & Advocacy, comprised of Cope staff and volunteers.  Community Outreach & Advocacy’s priorities will be planning and discussing how we can best reach the population we serve, researching current legislation and how it affects the children in our community, and connecting and communicating with friends of Cope via newsletter, blog and e-blasts.  One of the challenges the CO&A team faces is how to reach families all class and ethnic backgrounds, as well as determining which legislative changes to push for that would most benefit our community’s children.  In addition to our usual focus to educate the community during Child Abuse Prevention month in April, the committee will start with one or two projects to get behind.  I’m thrilled to be part of this new committee and am looking forward to the things we will accomplish together!

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by copevolunteer on February 17, 2012  •  Permalink
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Posted by copevolunteer on February 17, 2012

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